The Old Guy's National Anthem ... AKA what a long, strange trip it's been

Truckin' got my chips cashed in. Keep truckin', like the do-dah man Together, more or less in line, just keep truckin' on. Arrows of neon and flashing marquees out on Main Street. Chicago, New York, Detroit and it's all on the same street. Your typical city involved in a typical daydream Hang it up and see what tomorrow brings. Dallas, got a soft machine; Houston, too close to New Orleans; New York's got the ways and means; but just won't let you be, oh no. Most of the cast that you meet on the streets speak of true love, Most of the time they're sittin' and cryin' at home. One of these days they know they better get goin' Out of the door and down on the streets all alone. Truckin', like the do-dah man. Once told me "You've got to play your hand" Sometimes your cards ain't worth a dime, if you don't lay'em down, Sometimes the light's all shinin' on me; Other times I can barely see. Lately it occurs to me What a long, strange trip it's been. What in the world ever became of sweet Jane? She lost her sparkle, you know she isn't the same Livin' on reds, vitamin C, and cocaine, All a friend can say is "Ain't it a shame?" Truckin', up to Buffalo. Been thinkin', you got to mellow slow Takes time, you pick a place to go, and just keep truckin' on. Sittin' and starin' out of the hotel window. Got a tip they're gonna kick the door in again I'd like to get some sleep before I travel, But if you got a warrant, I guess you're gonna come in. Busted, down on Bourbon Street, Set up, like a bowlin' pin. Knocked down, it get's to wearin' thin. They just won't let you be, oh no. You're sick of hangin' around and you'd like to travel; Get tired of travelin' and you want to settle down. I guess they can't revoke your soul for tryin', Get out of the door and light out and look all around. Sometimes the light's all shinin' on me; Other times I can barely see. Lately it occurs to me What a long, strange trip it's been. Truckin', I'm a goin' home. Whoa whoa baby, back where I belong, Back home, sit down and patch my bones, and get back truckin' on. Hey now get back truckin' home

Welcome to My World

Is this reality? Probably not, but it's pretty dern close.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Damn Canoe was Defective, It Wouldn't Stay Upright

It's the Monday before Thanksgiving and 80 degrees in South Florida. It was 37 when Barb and I left WV. We're gonna take advantage of this weather so ... we're off to the Bay. That's Cliff next to me. He's my Godson. Good kid. Big kid. Now I'm 5'8" and about 210. Yeah, I know, I should be about 180. Cliff's 15 (16 in Feb 08) ... he's a just a 'tad' bigger than me. You'll notice that neither of us appears to be a well conditioned athlete (but Cliff's about to be, he's gonna try and play football for the local high school). Due to our shapes, our sense of balance is probably not the best.
So here we are, about to partake on our canoe tour of the Biscayne Bay. That's in Homestead, Fl where he lives. We rent this canoe from the Park Service and they tell us we have to wear PFDs (personal flotation devices).


Keep in mind they also tell us the water is about 3' deep in the entire portion of the bay we're allowed in. OK, seems silly but we'll go along with them, after all, it's their canoe and their bay. Now we're ready; can't you tell? Is that a fine looking crew or what?


And we're off. Off to explore the wilds of the 3' deep bay. What they forgot to tell us was that there are spots where it was only 3" deep. So after we turned into the channel and got stuck we spent 20 minutes trying to "pole" our way out. That was interesting.
Ever see the way a race car takes a corner? They ride up the banking and the car is leaned way over to the side but it stays on the track due to the slope and speed. Well, that don't work in a canoe. We were doing ok until we banked the left turn. Mark Martin would have been proud of the perfect lean angle we had going into that turn ... unfortunately it didn't work. Now we're standing in the 3' of water laughing our behinds off trying to figure how to correct the defect in the canoe and get back in it. Then we notice the other thing they didn't tell us. Under the 3' of water is about 12" of soft muck. So we're both up to our calfs in soft, gooey mud and our waists in water; fortunately we had taken our shoes off and left them with Barb back on land. One of us however, forgot to give Barb his wallet. We won't mention names, but it wasn't me. Well we got the defect fixed and managed to dump out the water, so we need to get back in. I'm holding the canoe while Cliff climbs in ... no problem. Now it's my turn to climb in ... problem, who's gonna steady the canoe? You guessed it. We're back in the drink, the defective canoe is upside down again and we're laughing even harder. On about the third try we get the boat upright and dump the water. After long and arduous thought (about 2 minutes) we decide to push it to shore. Ever try to walk in 12" of muck? That was even more interesting than "poling" the canoe. Well we made it to shore and decided we had had enough of the bay tour for one day. You'll notice (in the next pic) that the only things still dry are our shoes and socks which are on the shore where we left them.


Oh yeah, just to make life interesting, neither of us had dry clothes so we found the park maintenance guy and mooched 2 huge trash bags to cover the car seats to drive back to Cliff's place.
Did we learn anything from this? I doubt it. I'll bet we still can't paddle a canoe, especially a defective one.
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